Archive | December, 2008

>A Modest Proposal

31 Dec

>…This one may Swiftly get me in a lot of trouble. Or it may get me friends I don’t want, which is just as bad. –Like either of those is anything new?

Courtesy of Mike-istan (RTWT!), I encountered this piece of, of, eww, “writing” by one Robert Smith, Junior writing in the Detroit News, of which the headline tells the tale: Ban All Guns! Yeah, that’ll work — it’s been such a success in United Kingdom that their normally-low rate of firearms deaths has been on the rise since the ban! (Look it up yourself; overall rates in Britain, Scotland, N. Ireland, Wales, etc. are still lowish but the trend’s backwards to what the gun-grabbers predict).

Mr. Smith makes much of the tragically high death rate of young, urban, African-American men; and he’s right: that group of citizens have a huge lead on any other demographic slice of the polity when it comes to getting shot and doing the shooting.

…And since we’re being all practical and common-sense, since men of wisdom like Mr. Smith assure us the presence of guns is to blame, let’s put our energy where it will do the most good and save the hardest-hit group first: Disarm All African-Americans!

What, that doesn’t sit too well? Makes you feel a bit uncomfortable? Seems rather, oh what do they call it, racist? But golly, it’s based on the very trends Robert Smith points out. Don’t you care about the price these young men are paying with blood?

I know! Let’s draw the line in a less-sensitive place! It’s mostly young, urban males that are shooting one another, so let’s ban guns in big cities!

That’s got to work — after all, it’s been such a success in Chicago, right? And in the District of Colombia and New York City? No? Young black men (men of every hue and age, in fact, plus no few of their sisters; what most of ’em have in common is a criminal history) are still shooting one another even in cities where it’s double-plus ultra illegal for minors and felons to buy and carry guns?

Golly gee. How unexpected — I mean, they have got laws ‘n’ bans ‘n’ everything on his Christmas list! And you tell us the perfect fix is a total gun ban, Mr. Smith? You’ll go house-to-house, will you, and round up every one of the estimated 9 guns per every ten adults in the U.S., and it’ll work, will it?

Sure, just like Prohibition removed all alcoholic beverages from distribution; exactly like The War On Drugs has wiped out the scourge of marijuana, the menace of crack, the horror of heroin, as it has ended the manufacture and sale of crystal meth and the abuse of prescription drugs… Just like those things, your Ban All Guns effort will “succeed.” And considering just how many of the firearms deaths (not to mention the deaths by stabbing, beating and being run over) of young men of every color are cited as “drug-related,” it seems likely that putting all guns in the same category as the common or garden variety crack rock will make guns an a even more lucrative item of underground commerce — and even more young men will die over them as well as by them.

I dunno. Seems to me there might be some teensy, weensy flaw in this plan.

Update: Codrea has his own, more succinct take on the article. Yeah, gun-banners? What he said goes for me, too.

>Plumbing Companies

31 Dec

>Most plumbers are all right — like any other trade, there are good ones and bad ones, but nearly all of them get leaky pipes and valves fixed; failure is just too obvious.

Plumbing companies, though…. Were the universe inherently just, there would be a very special little corner of Hell reserved for ’em. The best ones often go away, except for the ones that metastasize into vast, sloppy, it’s-not-my-problem, Call-One-Number conglomerates.

My old plumbing firm was a Type One. Small. Been there forever. Located here in Broad Ripple, Steck’s did a huge amount of work in the nineteen-teens through ’40s bungalows in the neighborhood. No old plumbing was a surprise to their guys and their plumbers were unfazed by the classic techniques — lead and oakum, soldered copper, galvanized-steel nightmares, reseatable valves, no problem. Nor were the wonders of modern plastic foreign to them; they used whatever it took to do the job. So, of course, when the principal retired, Steck’s vanished (at least their profitable and well-stocked supply house remains — you need plumbing stuff, get to Winthrop Supply!).

I found another outfit, one of the El Hugiod firms; their guys did good work (okay, a couple were just adequate and if I meet up with the nitwit who “fixed” our outside hydrant but removed the shutoff inside the basement and left the leaking fixture outside with no steady mounting, I’ll have harsh words, but mostly, they’re fine and occasionally outstanding). After several repairs small and large, I signed up to their Super-Valued-Customer Club, which promises 15% off and superfast service.

So they say. Big mistake, signing up. Money down the… Well, down the drain.

It’s 6:40 p.m. I’m waiting on them now. Funny, they called me at five pip emma at work to let me know the plumber was On His Way. –Maybe he’s driving from Oklahoma? Called them a few minutes ago — got, not the Ultra-Modern Dispatch Centre one might imagine but their answering service, who boredly asked for and took a basic who-what-why-where is he? message but, according to the call I just received from someone supposedly at the plumber’s HQ, delivered only a “call this number.”

And the best part? I have a hot water leak in the basement (low volume but the iron pipe, in a not very visible place, is in sad shape, wreathed in little sprays of crystallized rust; you can’t trust them at that point) and possibly thermostat problems with my water heater, since it doesn’t usually run for an hour-plus at a time the way it was when I found and investigated the leak.

At 9:15 this morning, I called up the Hugiod Plumbing-and-Dog-Grooming Outfit, they allowed as how I was indeed a member of the Sooooper Customer Discount Club…and that to get service today would cost an extra $50 for “emergency service.”

You know, tonight’s adventure, assuming the truck ever shows up at all, is going to be their swan song. I’ll find somebody else, somebody that may only be an average plumber but shows up in a timely manner and doesn’t have any nonsensical Best Friends Club.

Oh, yeah, my pager keeps going off. Something’s awry down at the Skunk Works and I’m tryin’ to talk guys through it ‘cos I have to, you know, wait for the service guy. Hey, Mr. Plumber, you want your football game? Live? Gonna cost ya extra for that!

Sheesh, I hope his truck didn’t get hit or something. Even so, it is way later than the originally-promised time when they called with the “on the way!” message. Nearly two hours ago. Swan. Song.

Update: They lost him. The actual dispatcher and I have spoken twice. They haven’t heard from him since he said he was on his way and he’s not replying to any means of communication.

>Morning Observation

30 Dec

>…No, not Orion; I’m pretty sure the Irishman[1] is out of sight by now. I eat oatmeal for breakfast nearly every weekday morning; days I don’t, I’m in a hurry and have granola instead. Usually eat right here at the computer, combining refueling with composing.

This morning, I’m out of oatmeal and the seal on the hippie-flakes bag had popped open sometime in the past, admitting the Imp Of Staleness. So I am enjoying a slab of ham on toast, with cheese and mustard. (Yum!)

It has been mentioned here and on Tam’s blog that my two very elderly cats spend most of their time on my (vast) desk. The desk was designed to hold a large CRT monitor; when I switched from the coal-fired Old Reliable to a newfangled and larger flat-panel[2], it left a nice cat-sized spot on the former monitor shelf, behind the warm new monitor; the cats like to doze there. Oatmeal won’t get their attention; granola in non-fat powdered milk, likewise. But a ham sammich? That’s a cat-magnet! Ahh, yes, their natural prey: the smoked ham. On marbled rye.

More to come later; this morning, I’m off to the dentist, thanks to a filling that escaped Sunday. It’s enough to shake one’s faith in cyanoacrylate.
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1. ‘Cos, see, “O’Ryan….”
2. Oddly, this happened right after the first set of flat-screens survived long enough at work to be replaced in upgrading rather than because they’d failed. What a coincidence!

>Oooooooo

30 Dec

>…For your delectation: The Delahaye!

BBCAmerica’s “Top Gear” has been running promos for their season-opener, featuring a sleek Alfa-Romeo hardtop they describe as “the most beautiful car in the world.” Oh, I’ll grant it’s a lovely vehicle, but it’s no Delahaye. It’s about even with, say, a Cord 812.

>December BlogMeet: Kewl!

29 Dec

>Alas, I am short on time; suffice it to say the December BlogMeet was a grand time, with sixteen bloggers and readers from all over gathered for food, libations* and conversation. I counted 16 attendees — and failed to fully note everyone’s names. Hard cider is not, as it turns out, a memory-enhancing tipple. From memory (and in no partular order): Mr. and Mrs. Red, Brigid, Shermlock Shomes & son, Turk Turon, Carteach0, Og, Brigid…. Tam and Caleb were missed; she’s been visiting back across the Mason-Dixon line, and Caleb, it turns out, was busy taking the bronze in a combat pistol match that took longer than planned.

Oh, would you look at the time! Starships wait for no one. Links will have to be embedded later.

>Isms

28 Dec

>I don’t care what your particular ism is; I’m sure you consider yourself quite an expert in it. I blogged about some very tentative notions I had, things I was working out, and found myself in a tempest of comments about my own lack of philosophical rigor, found my friends rudely taken to task for their beliefs in the comments of my blog, and was told I was too thin-skinned for the rough-and-tumble games the big boys play. (The implict assumption being I was even interested in such. Bzzt! Wrong!)

Gee, all this time I thought this was my little blog that I did for my own amusement. I had no idea I was teaching a philosophy class — or enrolled in one.

Because I wasn’t.

Looky here, if you want to share the superior virtues of your own political philosophy, go do it on your own blog.

If you want to show said superiority by pointing out the faults, flaws and failings of others in place of demonstrating the virtues of your own, you are, in my opinion, a fool and lousy salesman for your ideas. The Competition may indeed stink on ice but until you show you’re made of perfume, it’s your aroma, too.

This is a little blog. Not even D-list. I have never made any attempt to get links; never pointed out something I thought was especially good to the really big blogs, rarely asked for links (I did bother overworked Alphecca about gettin’ a reciprocal link), never advertised and never chose a topic based on how likely it was to get attention. If what I write gets traffic, yay-hooray. If it does not, so what? It saves me using up lots of paper or space on my computer’s HD.

That’s all it is. I don’t make any effort to be especially consistent. What you get is what was in my head when I sat down to write. And I didn’t do it for you, I did it for me. Anything you get from it is just gravy. (And it’s free, too — worth exactly what it costs).

I have enabled comment moderation. Your comments may not appear as rapidly as you might wish. And to this post, not at all.

(Update, Sunday morning: I recall encountering online Robert James Bindinotto, a bigtime Objectivist/Minarchist guy and as philosophically consistent as they make ’em. One of the really striking aspects of his interaction with others was that he was unfailingly polite, even when he was slapping them down. Such men are the standard by which I judge all men. A good many of them fall short).

>Indy BlogMeet Sunday

27 Dec

>The December BlogMeet! Bloggers and readers invited!

3:00 pm Sunday the 28th, Broad Ripple Brew Pub.

See you there!

>Manners, Customs, Anarchy And Me

27 Dec

>I’m not too sure if I’ll let comments run on this; while the Og-and-Billy Show is fascinating when they’re not getting personal, it draws the unruly.

A question often asked of anarchists is, what, in the absence of The State, would restrain men’s baser impulses?

The simple, surface answer is, the same things that restrain them (or fail to) now. It’s a snappy reply but there’s not much there. Most men do not refrain from rape because they will be caught and punished; most people do not avoid short-changing others because it is illegal and your sister’s favors are not for hire because the Vice Squad is likely, eventually, to haul her in. Indeed, you are now in about as good a position to poison the water supply of your city as any slapdash terrorist — and consider, the traffic would be less and many jobs would be left open; you have much to gain. Do you seriously entertain that the you and your fellows have not yet done so only due to the likelihood of arrest, trial, imprisonment and execution?

It seems unlikely. While humans are governed largely by self-interest, mature humans tend to take a longer-term approach to “self-interest.” Mature humans tend to deal fairly — or not terribly unfairly, and more or less so to the extent they see them as peers, members of the same tribe — with others. And past that, they extend a degree of courtesy to others and recognize it when it is given to them. Immature and/or criminal humans do not — unless you count it a handshake to pick a man’s pocket.

What keeps people from “doing unto others” first and hardest is as simple, as apparently trivial as courtesy. Customs. Manners. Those things which must (or must not) be done vary between our different tribes, clans and septs but they always exist. From a High Tea to an outlaw biker rally, there are acts and words of some sort which are observed by those who would take part pf the social interaction; the lout who flouts the social graces and calls it “honesty” makes of himself something less than human.

Looking back to times when the hand of Government fell less heavily on the individual, one finds situations refined and coarse; and while in general the individual had less to fear from crime in the 19th Century the the 21st, he or she had even less to fear in areas where good manners were more widely used and respected. London — then well-armed, as shown by accounts of The Tottenham Outrage[1] — was safer than Deadwood. Same species, better manners. Greater awareness of manners even among those who had little or no use for them.

Humans have very few instinctive behaviors; we’re born knowing how to suck and in my darker moments, I suspect that’s about as far as some people get. Proper manners — yes, O Rosseauian “Natural Man,” that terrible, horrible hypocrisy that lets enemies sit down at table and try to flay each other verbally, pleasantly, instead of reaching for their knives — is one of humanity’s better inventions, ranking with fire and the wheel; the traditions that preserve and transmit our customs and manners are as essential to our progress as was the domestication of animals and the invention of soup.[2]

* * *
Speculative thought about the shape society might take is common to all varieties of political thought and it is not uncommonly shown through rose-colored spectacles. From the “Worker’s Paradise” to the high-minded Progressive dreams of Georgist single-taxers to L. Neil Smith’s delightful visions of an anarchist/minarchist America, it’s all painted so very lovely. Me, not so much; my kind of anarchy takes property rights as fundamental and leaves plenty of room for grotty little factory towns, mean or evil bosses and lazy workers. The indolent would be free to starve, the incompetent to seek their own level and it would be no paradise. –You’d have more choices of doom, mostly, and my own line of work would very likely get less respect and pay worse than it does now. But people would have better manners — or not, and be held back by the lack. Make of that what you will.

* * *
Philosophically, I am something of a lightweight. There’s not a lot of rigor to my thinking; Ayn Rand would’ve dressed me down but good and turned her back. This does not bother me; we can’t all be Immanuel Kant and I’d as soon not. Roberta-X-ism is not a movement and it couldn’t be.

* * *
This blog is something I do for my own amusement. It’s all over the place — fools are mocked, I natter about guns and shooting, post fragmentary stories not quite about slices my life or other lives I’ve glimpsed and whatever else it strikes me to do. Sometimes I’m wrong. Other times I’m not. I blog for fun and I would even if no one read it or commented on it. This is my place and visitors can either play by the very few rules, or they can leave.
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1. Itself a fine example of the rude actions of the sort of “Anarchist” that is a blot upon the word — and the world.
2. Snicker all you like — before soup, the elders
died when their teeth gave out, somewhere around 30 years old. Not a lot of time to learn much — and even less time in which to pass it on.

>A Distant Yuletide Evening

26 Dec

>(A Christmas story)

His streetcar went clanging away to the next stop and the end of the line. The three-story apartment building where he lived had holiday lights festooning balconies in front of a few apartments and greenery draped on the railings of a few more. Not much decoration, none at all around his — even in this, its fiftieth year, the settlement and settlers didn’t have a lot to spare on frivolity. What caught Joel’s attention was a cat crying somewhere nearby as he plodded up the drive. There weren’t a lot of cats, either; the population had started small, smuggled-in to begin with, and some of the local animals kept the feral population near zero. The first flakes of a fresh snowfall were swirling through the twilight — nothing unusual for the long, harsh Winters of the planet nicknamed “Blizzard” by the earliest settlers but it made the source of the sad sounds all the harder to locate.

“The kitty’s stuck in that tree, it’s been up there almost all day!” It was one of his apartment-building neighbors, one of the newlyweds in the adjoining apartment. She’d be too embarrassed to speak if she ever figured out how easily sound got through the utility connections, Joel mused, and probably not very relieved to learn his solution, once the hubbub had become tiresome, had been to start keeping earplugs handy near his bed.

Right now she looked worried. Pointing earnestly up at the “tree” — more of a giant fern, looking something like a flattened pine — she said, “The guy upstairs got mad and threw his kitten out the window. It doesn’t know how to get down! My Husband’s out of town, can’t you Do Something…?”

Joel grunted. Even here on the unknown frontier — the starship program and the Settled Worlds established in the 1950s in response to the threat posed by modern nuclear and biological weapons were still classified, hidden from nearly everyone Earthside — even here, there were plenty of people who would rather talk and feel rather than do. “They also serve, who only skin their knuckles,” he muttered, grinning to take the edge off.

“Oh, I knew you’d help!”

The fern-trees weren’t very strong for their size but Joel was light enough to climb the larger ones. This one was small enough to be questionable and, of course, the kitten was shifting around nervously near the end of a higher branch. And still wailing. Joel set his toolbag down on the porch, away from the damp and the increasing snowfall, and began to climb.

The tree swayed badly as he climbed to the second-story level. This had the benefit of causing the silver-grey kitten to stay put, clinging for dear life. The flip side was that the little cat was even more frightened by the time he got close enough to reach out. It hissed and retreated to the tip of the branch, now sagging down and back towards the slender trunk. Joel backed down a couple of branches, leaned out as far as he dared towards the hissing, spitting kitten, reached for it and took a pinprick paw-swipe in response, then scooped up the now-furious animal. “Got it!” he announced, trying to climb down with the frantic kitten clutched to his chest.

Slipping a few times on the way, he succeeded in returning to solid ground without any major damage to himself or the cat. “There you are,” he said, holding the baby cat out to the young woman.

“Me? I don’t want a cat! I was just worried. Anyway, it belongs to the man upstairs. But thanks for getting it down.” She turned and headed for her door.

“…Unh…?” Joel replied, climbing onto the porch as the door to her apartment shut. And locked. “Great.” Still holding the squirming cat, perhaps a bit tighter than necessary, he shuffle-kicked his toolbag down the porch to his door, changed his hold on the cat, fished his keys out one-handed, opened the door, shoved the toolbag inside, made a frantic two-handed grab to retain the kitten. He hooked a foot around the door and pulled it shut, looking down at the cat as it swung to. “Time to take you home, I think.”

In two years living in the concrete-block apartment building, one of the first set of buildings made from local materials on Blizzard and originally a barracks, Joel had never been to the higher floors. A set of stacked, interlocking modules, the layout of each floor — and originally, of each apartment — was identical. Outside stairs linked balconies to the first-floor porch, two apartments side-by-side on the East and West sides, one in the center on North and South. The “guy upstairs” in question was a recent arrival, a man he’d never met. This didn’t make him especially unusual; turnover in the building was high and Joel was anything but outgoing. Careful arrangement of Christmas lights along the new guy’s section of the balcony, no name on the door; he knocked and waited. Noting. Knocked louder and eventually heard a stir. The door opened a crack and a bleary, annoyed-looking young man looked out. “What do you want?” he asked.

“Is this your cat?” Joel held up the cat, which obliged by trying to bite him and mewing.

“Not any more! Damn thing pulled the drapes down on me when I was sleeping! It ruined my couch! It’s hyperactive!”

“Uh, it was in a fern tree, the one up by the porch…?”

“Yeah, well, cats climb trees. So?”

“Neighbors said it was crying up there all day?”

“It cries a lot. I threw it out!”

“But it was your cat…?”

Was. You want it? It’s yours. Good luck.” He shut the door.

Joel looked down at the cat. It hissed at him. “Oh, well,” he said, and headed for the stairs.

He hadn’t bothered to lock his own door; he shifted to a one-handed hold on the kitten, opened the door, look a step and fell sprawling over his toolbag. The cat escaped as he put his hands out to break his fall and scurried away under the couch. “Da-yum!” Joel yelled as he hit, but nothing felt too damaged. He turned, sat up, and kicked the door shut with half a smile, “I’m an idiot.” He turned back to the couch, where, leaning down, he could see two eyes glinting in the far corner. “Fine, you. Stay there.”

* * * *
A can of tuna (imported) and a bowl of water had proven enough to lure the kitten out from hiding long enough to growlingly bolt down a third of the food, be briefly sick, take a long drink of water, eat a little more and dance away when he went to wipe up the mess. He’d half-filled a plastic dishpan with dirt hacked from the straggly plantings along the porch and set it near the couch, hoping the kitten would take the hint. Stretched out on the couch, half-listening to the evening news on the radio, he’d reread the Christmas card from the elderly aunt who was his only living relative (and convinced he worked for a oil-exploration firm in some hard-to-reach tropical jungle back on Earth). After ten years, the homeplanet seemed less and less real, drifting away into an improbable nightmare. A bookish, mumbling loner, he’d had a cat back on earth, a grey-and-black tiger-striped tomcat named Ralph. That cat had been his constant companion and the terror of small animals and lesser toms for miles around for years, until the day it stopped coming home. He’d found the little body next to the road a few days later, stiff, unmoving, hit by a car along the road he drove to school every day and vowed, fiercely, Never Again. No More Cats.

Graduation, tech school, military service, the house fire that took both his parents and a short, flawed career in uniform later had found him in the office of an annoyingly-vague employment agent, signing a long-term contract. Months later, he’d been dazzled to find himself aboard a starship, furious to learn “long term” meant “lifetime” and found resignation turning willy-nilly into fascination as he learned more about his new home. The years since arrival, he’d found over-full with work, moving from site to site, installing and maintaining a mad assortment of radio communications equipment, fifty-years worth of military surplus, low-bidder lots and local improvisation. No close friends, no ties back “home” and that home increasingly strange and foreign; the Hidden Frontier retained an element of crew-cuts and “squareness” long-vanished on Earth. Always short on workers and long on things to get done, each world determined to become as self-supporting as possible, the challenges and the society they formed were like nothing contemporaneous on the home planet. His employers rated him adequate, occasionally even brilliant. His neighbors barely noticed him at all.

A noise caught his attention, the kitten carefully making a hole in the improvised litter and he thought, now, this. Outside, the snow continued to fall. The automated streetcar had gone clanging blindly back not long before, the sound eliciting a worrying flurry of panicked scratching from under the couch as it swelled and then faded. Calmer now, the kitten finished its business and made to climb the couch. He started to reach and thought better of it, watching through half-shut eyes as the little cat made its way to the cushions at his feet. Newscast over, the radio began a program of holiday music, schmaltzy old Christmas songs, as the cat, step at a time, climbed up onto his legs and made slowly for his lap, pausing to look around at every sound. Making its way to his lap, it turned around three times, sat down and began kneading at his waist. He moved a hand carefully, stopping as the kitten stopped kneading to look. It settled back down and began to purr.

Looking over at the card and then out the window at snow, now whirling down faster and thicker, catching glints of the colorful lights as it fell, he reached again for the cat, carefully, petted it and it sighed and started to purr louder. “No More Cats for me?” he thought. “No more cats for me on Earth.”
-30-
(All I saw was a skinny, happy guy getting food for his cat, after I wangled a day-off trip down to Blizzard’s landing-site “city,” Frostbite Falls. I made up all rest. –Geesh, I wondered why the guys in the Eng. Shop were so highly amused at me wantin’ to see the sights: snow, funky flat evergreen-analogs, a robotic trolley system right outta Loonie Tunes, and a whole lotta Metabolist-style semi-prefab buildings on rolling terrain, and that’s it. Oh, and some scary native critters, but I never saw any. Kinda Christmas-y, though.)

Merry Christmas to you all and may all your dreams be as warm and happy as a sleeping kitten!

Roberta X aboard the Starship Lupine, Somewhere Out There. Way out there.

>About Gummints

25 Dec

>Irascible Thomas Paine put it this way:

“Some writers have so confounded society with government, as to leave little or no distinction between them; whereas they are not only different, but have different origins. Society is produced by our wants, and government by wickedness; the former promotes our happiness positively by uniting our affections, the latter negatively by restraining our vices. The one encourages intercourse, the other creates distinctions. The first is a patron, the last a punisher.”

(From Common Sense, quoted in the linked posting about Bill of Rights Day by Alan Korwin of Page Nine, via Joe Huffman).

Seems to me that the extent to which we succeed in restraining our own vices — and individually discouraging others from the commission of the more egregious ones, like assault and robbery — is the extent to which we don’t need government, even arguing, as many do, from the standpoint of government-as-public-utility.

People aren’t perfectible but perfection is not required, just an honest effort at civilized behavior on one’s own part and a willingness to provide negative reinforcement when circumstances necessitate

Just a thought.